We Underestimate the Climb — and That’s Why We Stall

You ever set a goal and think, “Okay, I just need to do X, Y, and Z and I’ll be there,” and then weeks pass, and you’re either burnt out or nowhere near where you thought you’d be?

Yeah. Same.

Here’s what I’ve been reflecting on lately: It’s not that we don’t want it bad enough. It’s that we underestimate what it actually takes to get there. Not just the time. Not just the effort. But the emotional regulation, the stamina, the consistency, the interruptions, the doubt, the do-overs. The sheer capacity it takes to build something meaningful.

We treat our big goals like they’re short sprints, when really they’re endurance races. And when things take longer than we expected—or feel heavier than we thought—we assume something’s wrong with us. But maybe it’s not a lack of motivation. Maybe it’s a lack of capacity.

What Do I Mean by Capacity?

Capacity is your ability to hold discomfort, to adapt, to keep going when you’re not in the mood, and to recover quickly when you fall off. It’s your emotional bandwidth. Your energetic reserve. Your systems and habits. Your boundaries. Your ability to focus on the work even when the results are slow.

Most of us think success is about strategy. But strategy without capacity is like having a great recipe but no kitchen to cook in. You need the space, the tools, the headspace, the fuel.

So What Do We Do?

We build. Slowly. Intentionally.

We stop romanticizing instant results and start respecting the process. We ask ourselves not just, “What do I need to do to reach this goal?” but, “Who do I need to become to sustain this level of action?”

That’s the real work. Building capacity. Expanding our container so it can actually hold the life we’re trying to create.

And here’s the part that most people won’t tell you: Building capacity often feels like nothing is happening. Like you’re stuck. Like you’re behind. But that’s the ground shifting under you. That’s the foundation getting stronger. You won’t always see the gains in real time—but they’re there.

So if you’re feeling like you’re falling short, maybe you’re not failing. Maybe you’re just growing. Maybe you’re building the capacity to hold something bigger.

Keep going. Respect the climb. Build the container.

Everything else will flow from there.