Understanding the Cognitive Triangle: How Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors Interconnect

Hey there, it’s Sherri Lee Sunshine here, diving into something that’s been on my mind lately—literally! Today, I want to talk about a concept that’s helped me (and so many others) better understand the connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It’s called the Cognitive Triangle, and if you’ve ever felt stuck in a negative loop, this might just be the thing to help you break free.

What Is the Cognitive Triangle?

At its core, the Cognitive Triangle is a framework that shows how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. Picture a triangle where each corner represents one of these elements.

• Thoughts are the stories we tell ourselves about a situation.

• Feelings are the emotional responses we experience.

• Behaviors are the actions we take (or don’t take) as a result.

What’s powerful about this model is that a change in one corner of the triangle can influence the other two. It’s like a chain reaction happening inside our minds and bodies.

How It Works in Real Life

Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re walking into a room full of people, and you suddenly think:

“Everyone’s judging me.”

Here’s how the Cognitive Triangle might play out:

• Thought: “I’m being judged.”

• Feeling: Anxiety, self-doubt, maybe even shame.

• Behavior: You avoid eye contact, stay quiet, or even leave the room.

Now let’s flip the script. What if you shifted that thought to something more neutral or positive?

• Thought: “I don’t know what they’re thinking, but I’ll just be myself.”

• Feeling: A bit more calm, confident, or curious.

• Behavior: You smile, strike up a conversation, or just feel more at ease.

See how powerful that shift can be?

Why This Matters

Life throws all kinds of situations at us—stressful ones, joyful ones, everything in between. But how we interpret those situations through our thoughts can completely change our experience. The Cognitive Triangle reminds us that while we may not always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond.

This doesn’t mean slapping on toxic positivity or ignoring real challenges. It’s about learning to pause, notice what we’re thinking, and consider how those thoughts are shaping our emotions and actions.

How I Use the Cognitive Triangle

I’m a big fan of grounding practices, and this is one I use when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stuck. Here’s a little process you can try:

1. Notice the triangle in action: Ask yourself, “What am I thinking, feeling, and doing right now?”

2. Challenge unhelpful thoughts: Is there evidence for this thought? What’s another way to look at this?

3. Experiment with change: Try shifting one corner of the triangle—maybe reframe a thought, lean into a more constructive feeling, or take a small action even if you’re nervous.

A Quick Reminder

This isn’t about being perfect or “fixing” yourself. It’s about becoming more aware of the patterns that shape your experiences and learning how to step into the driver’s seat of your life.

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you. Or if you’ve got a story about how shifting your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors has made a difference, I’d love to hear it!

Let’s keep growing and glowing together,

Sherri Lee Sunshine